No matter who you are or where you are located in the world, it is inevitable that you will face disappointments. Life in its natural form is cyclical, and has ups and downs as we all are much familiar with it. These could be anything from a health issue, career block, dealing with negative people and/or negative circumstance and so on and so forth. I understand that most situations will need specific actions and thought conditioning. However, the ones I am talking about here are the ones that are where you have no control i.e. there isn’t much you can do to improve the situation.
For instance, I recently suffered a foot fracture. There is not much I can do about it instead of allowing time and space for it to heal. I have noticed, I have certain patterns that I go through when I am faced with such situations – situations that are outside of my control and are disappointing. This has also happened in the past as well, when I had similar situations. Here are the different stages that I go through.
Stage 1 – Gratitude
Funny enough, when I go through a bad situation the first stage for me is gratitude. I always think that it could have been worse. I am grateful for the way it panned out. I see the light in the situation, I am actually pretty happy and proud to be able to do so. This usually lasts a day or 2. For example, when I broke my foot – the first thought that came to mind was I am glad it was only my foot and not more. It could have been much much worse.
Stage 2 – Feeling the feelings
This stage follows very quickly within 1 or 2 days, I feel all the feelings. I usually break down, feel sad, even cry if its too many emotions. The length of this depends on the severity of the situation. In the fracture situation, it took me a day or so. In a previous health issue, I took at least a week to feel all the feelings that were coming up.
Stage 3 – Rationalizing
Once I have gone through feeling all the feelings, I go through a phase of rationalization and identifying the practical consequences of said situation. This could be something like given that I have a fracture, I won’t be able to drive for a while, or I won’t be able to attend events, or I won’t be able to go out for walks, and so on. This helps me reach the next stage, which is acceptance.
Stage 4 – Acceptance
Once I have gotten a clear understanding of what are the practical implications of what happened, I tend to reach a stage of acceptance. I accept the situation and surrender to the Universe thinking – there is something in this situation that I am unable to see yet, maybe there is some good in this situation for me and that I am capable of handling the situation and dealing with it.
Now just to be clear, research suggests that are 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). Maybe those apply to disappointments as well, or maybe not all of them.
That being said, I am curious to know how do you face disappointments in your life? Have you noticed any patterns? Comment below or DM me to let me know.
Much love,
Kuki
